Congrats to @AndyRoddick on accomplishing my dream of retiring at thirty and marrying a supermodel.
Every Super PAC sounds like a fake charity George Costanza would make up.
Happened this month: Triplet #2, who met his girlfriend at my Lexapros and Cons book release party, got engaged. Suz G., who met her boyfriend on my old site Ruminations.com, got married. Moral of the story: if you hang around me long enough, you will meet the one. (Except for me, who's still single...)
Ryan, just wish Michelle Obama a happy anniversary and get the fuck out.
Single women are like a preseason football game – it may seem like they’re trying to score, but really they just don’t want to get hurt.
1) Write random number on chest with marker. 2) Run 26.2 miles in any direction. #DIYmarathon
Romney's flag pin is huge. The extra stripes are for Bermuda and the Cayman Islands.
ESPN officially loses its mind; names women's soccer victory 5th most dramatic sports moment OF ALL TIME????
Reaching World Series + Banging Kate Upton? Justin Verlander should win Man of the Year. Not Sports Illustrated; Time Magazine.
Taking a moment to remember all the deer and people who died to make Ray Lewis' journey possible.
Day 69 of sobriety. 21 days to go. Last night I had a wet dream... about vodka.
Moved to LA seven years ago today. I celebrated by doing yoga and still hating the fucking Lakers.
"To Lupita" - verb, to do something perfectly. Nailed it, girl.