Today's Top Story: Public says to US politicians. "Leadership. You keep using that word. We do not think it means what you think it means."
All I know is what sensationalized news outlets wanted me to know. I do not have objective facts about this. The jury got far more than I.
Getting up early would be so much better if it happened later.
Cake and ice cream are proof that the universe is, at its heart, a benevolent and kind place.
I really want to be able to show people who say "money can't buy happiness" how wrong they are.
A Public Service Announcement. BWT - Blogging While Tired. Know the signs. bit.ly/nHyvbp
Today's News: Voters consider constitutional amendment banning people with phallic-sounding names from ever running for public office.
Today's Top Story: Unionized garden gnomes stormed New York's runways screaming, "ENOUGH WITH THE GODDAMNED POINTY HATS!"
Top Story Today: The Age of Aquarius is being replaced by the Era of Regrettable Tattoos.
Newscasters today reported that temperatures in California will reach "whining" with tomorrow forecast to hit "random obscenities."
I don't think, since I didn't get to see all the evidence, that I get an opinion on how outrageous this verdict is.
When you take your bangs into your own hands. Desperation Snippage. bit.ly/qCSrP2
This was my entry for the Erma Bombeck contest this year. It didn't win, so read it just to make me feel better. bit.ly/xc1Gsu
People ask if I'm still afraid. This is my answer: bit.ly/yr4p55
Exercising when I'm on vacation feels a lot like balancing my checkbook during sex.
A remake of "Footloose." There is no earthly justification for this.
Some days I wish I had happy pills to grind up into a powder and put in coffee. Not MY coffee. Other people's coffee. My coffee gets bourbon