Nelson Mandela was an inspiration to the entire human race. Everybody could learn something from the way he lived his life #RIPNelsonMandela
Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they truly are. Word to the wise ;-)
Smart phones are more powerful than NASA Computers were in 1969. They launched a man to the moon, we are launching birds into pigs.
I just saw someone by themselves not looking at a phone. Hope they're ok.
WebMD's slogan should be "It could be nothing.. but its probably cancer."
You can never be old & wise if you were never young & crazy.
What I hate most about Twitter: finishing a good tweet, having -1 characters left & then having to decide which grammar crime to commit.
Remember, Mondays are perfectly fine. It's your life that sucks.
You only live once, so don't forget to spend 15 hours every day on the internet, desperately searching for the validation of strangers.
Nice try blocked number, but I don't even answer the phone for people I know.
Hey airplane designers, why don't the people who pick the number of windows talk to the people who pick the number of rows?
I didn't actually read the article but I did leave it open on my browser for 30 min, so I think I'm qualified to weigh in.
I just found this awesome new app that tells you which of your friends & family members are racist. It’s called Facebook!
Nobody in life gets exactly what they expected. But if you work really hard & you're kind, amazing things will happen. - Conan O'Brien
“It’s right over there by the Starbucks” - directions to anywhere
People complain about Facebook privacy settings, but I'm still standing 5 inches away from the guy in the urinal next to me.