Steve Jobs, creator of iPhone autocorrect, dies. I'll see you in he'll.
How Asian do I have to be to carry a bottle of soy sauce in my purse? Like, on a scale from 1 - Sandra Oh.
That Choco-Taco was like, "¿Como estas?" And then I was all, "¡BieNOMNOMNOM!"
Roses are red,
violets are blue,
balls balls balls,
balls balls balls.
It's cute how Paula Abdul thinks that we think that she's not on crack.
Went to a new thrift store that I'd like to write a review for, but Yelp doesn't have "Kinda Rape-y" as an option for Atmosphere.
Drive-thru speaker: Anything else?
Me: ALL OF THE DONUTS.
Drive-thru speaker: What?
Me: I said, "That's it."
I bet when William Shatner's wife tries to negotiate, he Priceline Chops that bitch right back in the kitchen.
And I was like, "You're hungry? Big deal. I got stung by a wasp today." Ugh. Homeless guys.
Like, you know how diabetics carry a packet of honey for emergencies. I could do that, with a packet of soy sauce. Is this thing on?
This underwire is a pesky third wheel to mine and my bra's relationship.
I could watch Jennifer Love Hewitt's acting on Ghost Whisperer, but I think I'll just down this bottle of bleach instead.
You know, I only get to take this thing out once a year and not ONE person has complimented me on my birthday suit.
Oops, got Apple Fritter on my phone. Ooh. Fritter-phone.
Hey society - Try not using words like gay, retarded, and fag. Faggy, gay retards have emotions too, you know.
BECAUSE SEVEN ATE NINE, THAT'S WHY.
Just learned there's actually such a thing as Coxsackie Virus and now Your Mom jokes will never be the same.
"Siri, please remind me that it is, in fact, socks THEN shoes."
Nice try, mattress store Black Friday sale.
Well, I DO have to work tonight. So yes. Yes I would love wine.
Grandmas in trendy sunglasses.
Celebrating Thanksgiving like our ancestors did: By drinking Dunkin' Donuts coffee and reading Black Friday sales.
Harmony shares 3 links a week, mostly from
tmblr.co, t.co, tumblr.com, goo.gl
Photo: Things I Wish I Had A Use For: Native American Face Mug. (Taken with instagram)
A woman at this pizza place just said, “How much longer? I have an appointment at 1:00.” Gee, I hope her...
Photo: quickmeme: This.
"If you can’t see right away that 8 is a factor of both the numerator and the denominator, but you see..."
36% of Harmony's tweets are replies. This means 23 replies a week, mostly to
@LisaCanDrive (120) and @PhilDarnowsky (74).
RT @DadBoner: Turkey Day 2011. Never forget. Let's roll, you guys.
RT @uniglittertits: The Law & Order theme song always gets me a little too aroused.
Oh holy shit, @gocheeseboy is coming to Natick mall!
He gets me. ---> RT @JasonElOso: Me and this 48oz bag of Cheez-It snack mix are moving in together.