"I done pish in my exams but earn more than most folk who did well" thats because most folk who did well are still at uni, give it a year.
My dad just told me to be careful in Zante because apparently there's a new form of syphilis that's more powerful than aids, how uplifting
Did I just see a tweet saying Malmo would pump any SPL team hahahaha? Celtic would hammer Malmo and anyone who denies it is a bitter fud.
Got Zante tomorrow but still getting heavy smashed tonight since Sellik won the IRA decider
Just had a two minute shouting match with my mum because she wouldn't let me take a pic of her doing the 5-1 pose, feenyin hoor
Watching wee Josh cause havoc on a night out is even funnier if you play this in your head whilst he does it youtube.com/watch?v=q-Rqdg…
Hate it when people say South Park is stupid, if you're smart enough to understand the irony involved you'll realise it's quite intelligent
Whoever pinched my pal @connorBev19 's running shoes just to let you know if I see you, I'll take down your description and tell the police.
Glad our group of pals are bitter and quite on edge with each other rather than arse sooking each other constantly. Much better laugh.
I don't go on holiday for the weather I go on holiday for the drink/cheap fags. If I wanted to go for the sun I'd go with my mum for free
Would sooner down a litre of mothers piss than watch those Tory arseholes pretending to be farmers whilst playing their banjos
What a pish scoreline how are you meant to pose for a 7-0 photo?
If you call yourself a mod in this era and weren't alive during the whole mod scene you're either 1. Not a mod 2. A liar 3. A stain
She can't sing she can't dance but who cares, she walks like Ben Latto
Having said that everyone in the Green Brigade thinks they're part of some chosen elite so it's actually pretty funny they've been disbanded
Positives of running up Decky at night - Livingston looks nice, Deer Park in particular which looks like something from a Disney cartoon
Cant believe me and @andyross13 kicked about dluxe last night in that headband haha! Never going out on a Friday again though was pure jaked
Without a shadow of a doubt @andyross13 is the only guy I know who'd buy 20 tins and drink them watching an amateur football game