@secrettweet SecretTweet
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62198 Going in for a vasectomy tomorrow, the doc says "bring an ipod". If there was ever a harder playlist to come up with...
71 Retweets -
61376 ...I just used my roommate's cat as a mop because I was too lazy to get another paper towel... http://j.mp/4CxrcB
54 Retweets -
65999 I masturbated using a lubricated cucumber and served it in a salad to my deadbeat husband. http://j.mp/dcQwgw
50 Retweets -
62114 When I play Tetris, every block placement is narrated in my head by a sports announcer. http://j.mp/9sdQRU
41 Retweets
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SecretTweet's 37.7K followers are from 81 countries and 858 cities. Their majority is interested in Social Media, Business, Marketing, Author.Audience Demographics
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Plain tweets
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68049 I'm not afraid of fight you, I'm afraid that if I start, I wont stop. We have kids too, I wouldn't want them to see that.
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67950 Growing up my aunt was verbally & physically abusive to my mother and I. I hate my mother for not standing up to her.
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67949 I barely eat so I can afford to surprise my boyfriend by flying almost 5,000 miles to see him for his birthday... and it's worth it!!
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67927 I accidentally bumped another car's bumper w/my car today when parking. I drove off w/o thinking...hope its ok. Needed 2 confess.
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